Fatback Media

God damn I love this country. Europe was great and I deeply respect their relaxed views on nudity, sodomy and ritual suicide, but where else can you decide your country’s future using a picture of enormous tits. That’s why we win all the wars. We respect America, apple pie and chicks with ridiculously sized tits. The potheads sexy kids at College Humor have more Erection 2008 coverage right here. Also, here’s what’s going on around the netz.

• Sarah Chalke (Becky 2) still smoking hot after all these months. (Phun)
• Don’t fucking touch Madonna (Allie)
• Chanelle Hayes looks for some richness in her life. ((Bastardly)
• Giselle in a music video for some reason. (Drunken Stepfather))
• Ben and Jen Affleck…kinda normal. (Celebitchy)
• Whitney Port does something, or something. Whatever. (IBBB)

God.

Almighty.

Christina Aguilera’s rack looks like it’s about to spill out like the Nile in rainy season. Maybe that’s why she did her makeup like an Egyptian drag queen. Although, I don’t think many people were looking at her eyes when she wore this dress to the VMA’s the last week. Down south we’d say that Christina Aguilera is built like a brick shithouse, and honestly I have about ZERO idea what that means. But I would like to sit her down and feed her some soul food. She looks like she’d eat some cracklin’ cornbread.

Wow. It’s like Gossip Girl central around here this week. First, it was news that Leighton Meester’s mom was caged heat and had Leighton while in custody for drug running and Blake Lively is making news with her salacious rack after leaving a David Letterman appearance. Okay that’s nowhere near as cool as being born in jail, but it has way more cleavage. Blake is just 21, so she’s got a good 3-5 years of not having to wear a bra until she’ll have to strap those babies in a nice Playtex underwire, but till then we say “let ‘em stay free, Ponyboy”. Has anyone seen Gossip Girl? It’s supposedly the highest rated show on cable behind Mad Men but I have yet to see an episode. Maybe it comes on at the same time as How It’s Made. PS. I’m never eating Pringles again.