The National Enquirer ran a story yesterday saying that Brangelina are planning a split. Just about every blog on the internet posted the story but warned to take it with a grain of salt because of the source. I didn’t do a story on it which is surprising because I hate Brangelina more than just about anyone and I would love to see them split.

Anyway, their reps, because Brangelina are too good to stoop to the level of the mass media and actually deny a split themselves, is saying that the two are happy and will not separate. All the rep could blather was the words “not true”. I understand that he was busy getting a latte for Angelina and didn’t have the time to state a full sentence to the media in fears of Angelina throwing a cell phone at him if the coffee was cold.

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More news oozing from the Jolie-Pitt camp today. Kind of like how it oozes everyday. But this time it graced the cover of OK! magazine. Apparently Brad Pitt is sick and tired of staying at home and watching the kids while his girlfriend goes out and makes films and does humanitarian work. It is hard to say girlfriend after all this time because you would think they would have gotten married by now. But no.

According to OK! Brad is putting his foot down and demanding that they get married or the relationship is off. Also he told Angelina that he wants to be married before he has anymore kids. I am sure once they tie the knot Brad will become complacent and then after some time goes by, drops out of her life like a stone in a pond. According to the source the couple are on such hard rocks that they don’t even have sex anymore. You mean they had sex? I didn’t know that. I just figured they were adopting babies left and right because Brad was impotent or in the closet. I learn something new everyday.

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Links that prefer friendship over lust

Madonna is charitable- IDLYITW

Cutepocalypse- yeeeah

Bai Ling has talent nipples- Celeb News Wire

Lauren Conrad wants to be like Jennifer Aniston- I Don’t Want Your Life

Playmates go golfing- Attu World

The next girl Katy Perry will kiss is Rihanna- Allie Is Wired

Britney Spears dresses appropriately- IDLYITW

Jessica Simpson works at a computer store… APRIL FOOLS! Seriously, give it time though- Geno’s World

Tori Spelling is skinnier- popbytes

Violet Affleck loves ice cream- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Halle Berry dances on Ellen- Drunken Stepfather

Russell Brand gets serious- Holy Moly

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Miley Cyrus is growing up fast- notorious news

Can you hear that? I think I just heard a pin drop. The tension in the air at Oscar night could have been cut with a knife. A very dull knife. At the 81st Academy Awards Jennifer Aniston presented the award for best animated feature to Jack Black that ironically also co-starred Angelina Jolie. The rough part of the night was the fact that Angie and Brad were sitting right there. Right there in the front where Jen Aniston could see them. During the presentation Jennifer flashed a smile at Brad but not at Angelina. Ooohh! Dis!

When asked by Us magazine if Jennifer was nervous she simply replied, “Yes!” I can understand that. I mean when you get dumped on your ass those wounds don’t heal for years. I have had a love/hate relationship with Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston for years but mostly it is a hate relationship. I just don’t see how they keep making news. Brad Pitt is one of the most boring guys in Hollywood and Jennifer Aniston only makes a new movie like once a year. So I do not see why they are in the news. But then again, here I am writing about them so they must be doing something right. Here are some more photos from Aniston at the Oscars.

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Links that have never been dumped

Kristin Bell is super cute- IDLYITW

Ashley Olsen is getting old- IBBB

Paris Hilton is still in love with Benji Madden- Holy Moly

Amanda Bynes isn’t wearing pants! Hooray! – Drunken Stepfather

The Oscars mega picture post- yeeeah

Hey look! It’s Kim Kardashian’s ass! – Celeb News Wire

Rosario Dawson: saved by gas- IDLYITW

Shhh… – Allie Is Wired

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Funny People looks like a kickass movie- Geno’s World

Slumdog Millionaire sucks- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Nicole Richie is pregnant- notorious news

A long time ago Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie said they would get married after gay and lesbian couples gained the right to get married. Well that time has come and passed. Brad is now saying that he will get married when it becomes important to the kids. When exactly will that moment come Brad? He tells Ann Curry , ” You know, they see films and start asking questions. Such as, ‘Why are Shrek and Fiona married and you’re not?’” I think that is the alarm bell Brad. I think the kids are ready for you two to be married.

In the interview Brad also is very blunt about how much he hates the paparazzi. Let’s face it if it wasn’t for them, Brad Pitt wouldn’t have a career. It is also a little hypocritical as well as he is a hugefan of photography. It is ok, because I respect Brad. For what reason? Because he doesn’t care if Angelina Jolie does nude scenes in her films. Tom Cruise would die before he let Katie Holmes get naked on the big screen. But Brad doesn’t really care what Angie does in her movies. That is more than likely because of the fact that she is a c-list celebrity and always will be. Don’t worry Brad, the ball and chain won’t weigh you down too much. Besides if you want to have sex with someone else while you are still married you can just cheat on your wife again.

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Links from the black lagoon

Happy birthday Britney Spears- IBBB

Speidi have vending machine wedding rings- Allie Is Wired

Britney Spears is going on tour- popbytes

Beyonce has hairy armpits- Drunken Stepfather

Jessica Alba is still hot- The Bastardly

Speidi is announcing a further pregnancy- Geno’s World

Blake Fielder is going back to prison- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Paris Hilton has cleavage- I Don’t Want Your Life

First she is pregnant. And then she isn’t. Both stories coming straight out of the pie hole of Us magazine. If they are gonna go with a story then go with the story. Don’t back track and tell people “sorry. We are retards.” The rumors started floating this time around because a waiter, apparently, asked Angelina if she wanted some wine and she, apparently, refused and said she was pregnant. But that was all a work of fiction according to Us now.

To add fuel to the fire rumors, sources were speculating that Angelina moved the production of her new movie Edwin A. Salt up because she didn’t want to show a baby bump in the flick. Is it me, or are people genuinely disgusted and bored with pregnancy rumors. Especially the ones surrounding Angelina Jolie. They already have six kids. Brad said this to Oprah Winfrey, ” It’s the greatest endeavor I’ve ever taken on. Why stop now?” Maybe because having kids isn’t an endeavor. It’s serious business. Anyway if Brad Pitt isn’t tired of having all the ankle biters around him 24/7, give him time.

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Brad Pitt is in a lot of movies. Which means he goes to a lot of movie premieres. You figure by now his own body guard would know the difference between a crazed paparazzi and his own client. Not so. Brad Pitt was entering the movie premiere for his movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button when a body guard grabbed him, pushed him and spun him around. I am sure Brad will get over it. After all he gets to go home and bang Angelina Jolie after a long days work.

Afterwards Brad said, ” Not fair! Brad big movie star. Brad not a picture taker. Brad has to go poo.” And in response the body guard petted him softly on his head and told him everything will be ok when he brings him to one of his 12 houses. What’s great is that after all this hoopla the paparazzi got inside the theatre to snap shots of the star and his hair trigger body guards.

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Someone give that girl some soul food. I mean, she’s been to Africa, and that’s the mother of all souls but girlfriend needs some sammies. I’ve got a cure for that flat ass and those bony arms; it’s called fried chicken and sweet potato pie. Maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s not that she isn’t gorgeous. She’s got that motherly glow, totally in-love, blood drinker thing going for her; it’s just that if you take away those 15 pounds of hair and 9 pound lips, you’re left with a skeleton with some gnarly tattoos in expensive shoes.

Here are a few pics of her the Oceans 13 premiere. Enjoy Angelina Skeletor at your own leisure.

{Ed. note: I don’t know Em, she still has her rack. Other than that she’s real fat fatty.-Fatback} 

Angelina Jolie thinks kids are fun and a joy and says she would like more.

“I’m very, very lucky. I love the different elements of my life. I love working abroad, and I love being with my kids and I love being with Brad,” Jolie, 31, said Friday at a press event for her movie The Good Shepherd. “I’d like to add many more children and many more obstacles and many more things to my life.”

And she makes every effort to give her children a normal life, despite her own fame. “I’ve made a point to not let it change the way that I live my life, other than I carefully plan my holidays or where we go or where we stay or things like that to try to ensure some kind of quality of life that is private and nice for the kids. But we simply don’t let it affect us.” (source)

Angelina is one kid away from her own It’s a small world ride. But I suppose it’s easy to want several children when you have nannies and maids and caretakers in abundance. Not like our house; my sis and I were lucky if mom would come down from her buzz long enough to remember to turn the heat on. And the closest we ever came to a nanny was watching PBS while mom and boy-toy-du-jour cleaned house.The only room they ever seemed to clean was the bedroom, so we went unsupervised a lot. A lot. But, I learned too cook, drive at 13 and I do have a nice collection of PBS fund drive coffee mugs. Stay in school.