Fatback Media

We heard a few weeks ago that Avril Lavigne has had enough of Deryk Whibley and that she wants a divorce so she could prowl the market and get laid by smarter and richer dudes. She “officially” turned in the divorce docs today and that is why it is official. Once her divorce proceedings are over I will mention it.

Of course, just because your divorce is not finalized doesn’t mean that you can’t look for other men. Just look at Jon Gosselin. And for the record, I am available. OK I will have to call off that dinner date I have with a Russian cover girl tomorrow night and I will have to postpone my weekly visit to Playboy mansion after that, but aside from those 2 things, I can pretty much hook up any other day of the week. You see? Sacrifice. That is what keeps a relationship strong.

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Links that creep the nights

Meghan McCain is an outrage- IDLYITW

Spencer Pratt likes to masturbate- Allie Is Wired

Ashley Greene should really quit the whole Twilight thing and just be a model- Drunken Stepfather

LiLo likes the Twitter- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Taylor Swift is going to host SNL next month- notorious news

Tina Fey was a 24-year-old virgin. Haha!- IDLYITW

Shauna Sand sex tape (for the archives)- Fatback Media (NSFW)

This is pretty good news for most people but sort of ho-hum news for others. It seems that Avril Lavigne and husband Deryk Whibley are separating after years of marriage. I don’t know why the hell she got married in the first place. It is not a cool thing to do amongst young punk rockers but Avril is a poser so I guess that makes it ok.

Some people find Avril to be goulish and snaggletoothed but Kirsten Dunst is the biggest snaggletooth of them all and I would still do her all night long. So, saying that, I would totally bang Avril if she let me. Of course I am hopping on a plane tomorrow to L.A. so I can get first dibs on the poser/punk rocker. Once I arrive she will not be able to resist my good looks and charm and we will be married at the little white chapel in Las Vegas in a matter of hours. Look out L.A.! Here I come!

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Avril Lavigne is one of those chicks who as soon as she got famous she settled down and married. She would probably have kids right now but that is not punk rock. And we all know how punk rock Avril Lavigne is. Anyway she was seen out at a club with tons of male admirers and her husband Deryk Whibley was nowhere to be found.

I understand that Avril’s song “Complicated” had a lot of potential but as soon as she got the tiniest taste of fame she instantly became one of the snobbiest chick sin Hollywood and starting writing love songs. So I hope she gets back on the market soon because I want her to be one of those trainwreck whores. Just to see her get knocked off her high horse. And maybe she can date a guy with a camera who likes nude shots. Maybe. I’m just saying.

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