Ashlee Simpson
Ashlee Simpson Is Pissed
Jan 28th
A lot of people these days seem to be criticizing, especially me, Jessica Simpson’s weight. Just recently Jessica performed at some country squire concert and when she did, she looked a bit plump. I am almost positive that it was the outfit she was wearing that made her look bigger but that will not stop me from making fun of her. I mean where the hell does she get off anyway? Being a huge pop star and then when your albums don’t sell break into country music? The bitch is retarded.
But this post isn’t onlyabout Jessica Simpson. It is also about Ashlee Simpson taking to her website and saying that the media shouldn’t criticize people like her sister because everyone comes in different shapes and sizes and it doesn’t matter what you look like. It is who you are on the inside. Is that the reason Ashlee constantly dyes her hair and got a nose job? Because what matter after all is in the inside right Ashlee? Fucking hypocrite. Either way, Jessica could pack on 20 pounds and Ashlee could re-break her nose 6 different ways and I would still bang em’. So I started this post a little ticked off and now I am just horny. Happens to me all the time. More pictures of Jessica’s big dumper after the post.
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Ashlee Simpson Breast Milk…Yum!
Dec 24th
I have to hand it to Pete Wentz. I figured that he was just another douche bag that liked to keep his sex life private. Then he goes on Howard Stern and talks about how Ashlee Simpson likes to take it up the ass! What a guy. This is almost as cool as the pics of Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens shopping in a porn shop. Now Wentz is talking about how he tried Ashlee Simpson’s breast milk. Who wouldn’t?
He describes the taste as “soury” and “weird.” OK so maybe Pete doesn’t like Ashlee’s breast milk. But I still might. Let be get ahold of those titties and I will give you my culinary opinion. My pallet is rather refined. Though maybe not so much for breast milk, but if it is coming out of Ashlee Simpson’s body, it has to taste good. In the upcoming weeks Ashlee will describe how Pete Wentz’s semen tastes and Jessica Simpson will tell how good it feels to be a virgin.
Christmas Eve links
The Hills season finale- IBBB
Amy Winehouse dancing topless- Drunken Stepfather
Lindsay Lohan has a new sister- Allie Is Wired
Jodie Marsh. I can’t get enough of her- d-listed
Amy Winehouse, not dancing topless- The Bastardly
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Zac Efron is scared of the paparazzi- Geno’s World
The grossest Christmas pic you will see all year- I Don’t Want Your Life
Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin hate each other. How funny, I hate them too! -yeeeah
Ashlee Simpson Has An Ugly Baby
Dec 11th
It is customary that when a hot Hollywood couple has a baby they whore the kid out to as many media magazines as possible. In this case it is Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz’s kid and so far there are no taker. No one wants to see their little Mowgli. Bad name right? So far Ashlee has contacted “every” news outlet and none of them want to give the couple money for the first exclusive shots of their new baby. which leads me to one conclusion, the baby is butt ugly.
It is being said by Page Six that the magazine covers that feature Simpson, Wentz or Simpson and Wentz tend not to sell well. Why would that be? Ashlee is very attractive and Pete Wentz has a lot of killer tattoos. I guess you don’t see them featured in tabloid mags mainly because Ashlee is famous for being famous. Her music career is in the toilet and her videos are awful that may only be contended with the likes of Heidi Montag. Pete has a successful band but he doesn’t have any “look at me” quality to him. It kind of makes you wonder why Ashlee is famous at all. I feel sorry for the poor folks, so if some pictures surface of Mowgli I will post them here. He can’t be any uglier than his name.
Ashlee Simpson: No Longer Preggers
Nov 21st
OK. So she doesn’t go out clubbing every night and the paparazzi don’t snap exclusive pictures of Ashlee Simpson passing out drunk in SUV’s but Ashlee Simpson is still interesting. Right? Apparently, with Ashlee eating lemons and “bouncing off the walls” in an attempt to induce labor, it finally worked. Yesterday Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz welcomed their first baby Bronx Mowgli Wentz to the world.
I am sure when the baby first arrived Ashlee was exhausted from labor and Pete had guyliner running down his face because of the tears. By the way, what the fuck is up with the weird name? I understand a name like Bronx, this is an attempt to make the baby sound more like an Angelina Jolie baby. Apparently people like Ashlee and Pete had normal names in grade school so they have no idea what it is like to be made fun of for having a weird name. Bronx Mowgli Wentz. B.M.W. What snobs.
