Fatback Media

A videotape of Angelina doing mounds of drugs back in the 90’s is reportedly being shopped around to the highest bidder.

A source tells the National Enquirer the tape shows Jolie, before she was famous, taking drugs with friends.

The actress has admitted using hard drugs in the past. She once said, “I’ve done coke, heroin, ecstasy, LSD everything. I hate heroin because I’ve been fascinated with it. I’m not immune, but I won’t do it now, at all.” However, video proof could damage her career and reputation as a charity campaigner.

“The key part of the tape is Angelina doing heroin. She says, ‘Wow, this is really good smack - not that cheap crap that’s been stepped on.’ Angelina is seen sniffing white lines from a plate, and then as the drug cooks on tinfoil, she deeply sucks in its smoke through a tube.” (Starpulse)

To be fair, drugs are actually pretty cool. I mean, all the cool kids do them, they make you feel good and sometimes they even get you laid. So all in all, I’d say that Sgt. McGruff is just a dick. What the fuck does he know? He’s a dog for God’s sake. In a trench coat.

Reports were everywhere yesterday that Angelina Jolie and her estranged father, actor Jon Voight, had a secret meeting in New York, but turns out it didn’t happen. Us Magazine says:

Though a source tells Us it was the late Marcheline Bertrand’s “dying wish” that ex-husband Jon Voight, 68, and their daughter, Angelina Jolie, 32, make amends, it hasn’t happened yet. The Internet buzzed with rumors of a truce when Voight was spotted October 7 at the Waldorf-Astoria, the NYC hotel where Jolie is staying. But Voight’s rep tells Us, “It’s all a mistake. They didn’t see each other all weekend.”

Whew, that was close. If I was Brad Pitt, I’d talk to someone about taking a restraining order out on Jon Voight, because nothing beats big tits and daddy issues. They only thing that might be better is a hot chick with the self-esteem of a nuclear spill victim. All you have to do is say her hair looks nice and two minutes later her panties will be on the ceiling fan and you’ll be getting rode like a mechanical bull.

Source

I know that Angelina Jolie went on Skeleton Alert like six months ago, but I mean, really now! Angelina is actually someone I never expected to go the way of anorexia because she always seemed too cool to be mainstream, and as we all know, every troubled starlet in Hollywood hops on the anorexic train. I expected more out of her.

But I’m pretty sure the question of whether Angelina has implants has been answered by this latest photo of her all gaunt but somehow sporting round breasts. I guess her weight loss has indeed been good for something.

Now enjoy the pics below back from when Angelina looked like the kind of girl Miss Lennox would gladly jump the fence for . . .

Someone give that girl some soul food. I mean, she’s been to Africa, and that’s the mother of all souls but girlfriend needs some sammies. I’ve got a cure for that flat ass and those bony arms; it’s called fried chicken and sweet potato pie. Maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s not that she isn’t gorgeous. She’s got that motherly glow, totally in-love, blood drinker thing going for her; it’s just that if you take away those 15 pounds of hair and 9 pound lips, you’re left with a skeleton with some gnarly tattoos in expensive shoes.

Here are a few pics of her the Oceans 13 premiere. Enjoy Angelina Skeletor at your own leisure.

{Ed. note: I don’t know Em, she still has her rack. Other than that she’s real fat fatty.-Fatback} 

Angelina Jolie thinks kids are fun and a joy and says she would like more.

“I’m very, very lucky. I love the different elements of my life. I love working abroad, and I love being with my kids and I love being with Brad,” Jolie, 31, said Friday at a press event for her movie The Good Shepherd. “I’d like to add many more children and many more obstacles and many more things to my life.”

And she makes every effort to give her children a normal life, despite her own fame. “I’ve made a point to not let it change the way that I live my life, other than I carefully plan my holidays or where we go or where we stay or things like that to try to ensure some kind of quality of life that is private and nice for the kids. But we simply don’t let it affect us.” (source)

Angelina is one kid away from her own It’s a small world ride. But I suppose it’s easy to want several children when you have nannies and maids and caretakers in abundance. Not like our house; my sis and I were lucky if mom would come down from her buzz long enough to remember to turn the heat on. And the closest we ever came to a nanny was watching PBS while mom and boy-toy-du-jour cleaned house.The only room they ever seemed to clean was the bedroom, so we went unsupervised a lot. A lot. But, I learned too cook, drive at 13 and I do have a nice collection of PBS fund drive coffee mugs. Stay in school.