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I’m incapable of going a week without blogging about Amy Winehouse. I really thought she’d be dead by now, but since she’s not I just take it as a sign from God to keep writing about this perfect creature. Let’s catch up on Amy’s life:

“Good Blake”: Kelly Osbourne introduced Amy to another Blake, Blake Wood, who is now her new pal around town in London. Blake is dubbed “Good Blake” as a contrast to Amy’s hubby, a drug addict currently serving time in the slammer. Good Blake is a vegetarian who doesn’t drink and is a good influence on Amy’s sobriety, but the problem is that they were spotted last week spending the night together in a hotel. Amy claims he’s gay so nothing is happening and it’s not a big deal. Hubby, Blake Incarcerated feels differently.

Tweaked Blake: Ah, Blake Fielder-Civil. Pure class. Maybe it was reports of Amy and Good Blake spending too much time together that drove Blake to heroin while in jail, but whatever the cause, he nearly died from shooting up tainted junk while in jail. He collapsed in pain after shooting up the substance and was rushed to the jail’s hospital along with six other dumbass inmates who did the same. Did I mention he had already failed three drug tests prior to this heroin emergency? Yeah.

Amy: She’s taken her grotesque black makeup to another level and drew on a black tear under her left eye. Apparently she wants us all to know she’s sad to have almost lost Tweaked Blake. I wonder how sad she is that he allegedly bought the fake heroin by selling her photos to a prisonmate?

Here’s Amy in photos from yesterday. Lovely!

I thought the Grammy Award show last night was friggin’ brilliant! Unlike MTV’s VMAs this year, Grammy producers actually realized that not everyone watching wants never-ending split screens, blinking screens, cut-aways, and virtually every cinematic technique that makes viewers over 18 want to vomit. Anyway, the Grammy’s nailed it with their simple production consistent focus on highlighting musical icons who had they heyday 25-50 years ago. I’m talking about Frank Sinatra, Ringo Starr, Cyndi Lauper, Tina Turner, Jerry Lee Lewis, Little Richard, John Fogerty, and some sprightly older lady who I thought for sure was going to have a Senior moment and forget lyrics on stage while singing with Kid Rock. But she didn’t.

What else? My fave crackhead Amy Winehouse cleaned up as expected, taking home the awards for Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best New Artist, Best Pop Vocal Album, and Best Female Pop Vocal. That’s my girl!! And, bloated country singer Vince Gill is my new hero, having put Kanye West in his place stating, “Wow, I was just given an award by a Beatle (i.e. Ringo Starr). Has that happened to you Kayne?” It was awesome since Kanye in his acceptance speech for Best Rap Album was exorbitantly obnoxious and mean-spirited stating that whomever won Album of the Year was just as good as him and he was just as good as them. Kayne apparently never developed past 5 years old intellectually.

And, finally, as the photos below of celebs on the red carpet prove, blue was definitely the color of the night!

Damn it! Looks like my favorite trainwreck across the ocean, Amy Winehouse, will not be coming our way for the Grammy’s on February 10th. The U.S. Embassy in London has banned Amy in the form of denying her visa application. It kinda sucks for her since she surely will be winning an award or two at the show. Seriously y’all, she was nominated for six Grammys! Yeah, she’s a crazy, anorexic, crackhead, but she is damn talented. In fact, she’s nominated for Best New Artist, Record of the Year, Song of the Year (for “Rehab”), and Album of the Year.

Here’s Amy from yesterday in photos that the press is saying show how she’s on the “road to recovery” and she’s the “picture of health”. Except her picture looks like Dorian Gray. On crack.

Damn it, just when I thought that Amy Winehouse was winning Lennox’s DeathMatch 2008 against Britney Spears, the crackhead up and goes to rehab . . . then again, it was only for two hours. Still, my money’s back on Brit because I have a feeling Amy’s 2-hour visit will turn into an extended stay starting in the next few days.


Yesterday morning a 19-minute video surfaced which shows the ever-classy Amy downing a cocktail of Ecstasy and Valium and smoking crack. The video was shot over the weekend by a spy for a British Tabloid. The same day the story broke, her dad paid her a visit mere hours later, and the next thing you know she’s back wearing her trademark beehive (man those hairdressers to the stars know how to hustle!) and heading off with Daddy to rehab. While her spokesman claims that the trip to the Edwards House rehab facility is part of her ongoing treatment from her first stay there, I’m not so sure that it was just a standard visit given that her crack-smoking video went public that morning. I smell a long stay in rehab for Amy.


Check out the crack-smoker in all her glory . . .





Crackdate: According the hotties at CelebritySmack, Amy’s reps have reported that she did not in fact go into rehab.

The reports are false, claim her spokesperson. “Amy is not in rehab. She was seeing a doctor who she regularly sees as part of her ongoing treatment. It was a regular appointment which she attends all the time.”

Can we all get a collective, “MMmm Hm“?

You know when female celebs want to reinvent themselves or make a statement and they go blonde? Well, look who joined the club. Only I’m rather certain this was an at-home job because any credible stylist would have had the sense to also lighten Amy’s black brows. No one can pull off black eyebrows and platinum hair. Then again, I’m not sure what look Amy could actually pull off and look human.

And she offers astute self-evaluation to OK! magazine as she explains why she looks heroin-chic:

“I’ve lost the weight because I don’t smoke weed anymore. I go to the gym, I drink a lot of water and I eat right. I feel bad for Victoria Beckham because I see pictures of her and they’ve made her thighs look smaller. They’ve done that to me, and it’s horrible. I’ve always had skinny little bird legs, but they’ve made them smaller.”

I totally believe that Amy eats right and goes to the gym. She’s the damn pinnacle of health. Wow, I wonder if she believes her own bullshit. Scary.