Amy Winehouse
Amy Winehouse Got Robbed
Jan 30th
On Thursdseay morning at 4 a.m. the London police were called to Amy Winehouse’s apartment. She was not there. She was still in the caribbean where she is roaming around topless making people sick to their stomach around the world. According to People the only things that were taken can all be replaced including 2 guitars and a few pieces of recording equipment. Usually when a celebrity gets robbed I get all giddy and think about all the hot nude pics and possible sex tape that might hit the internet. This time not so much.
I am sure Amy won’t have a problem replacing what was stolen since she is saving money in the caribbean by stealing drinks instead of paying for them, and apparently she has given up crack so she has a huge amount of money in her budget that she doesn’t quite know how to spend yet. It kind of surprised me that she actually still has musical equipment in her place, I figured that would have been pawned a long time ago for drug money. I am sure even an event like this would not bring her back to London. She will stay in the caribbean on “vacation” a.k.a. rehab and only come back when she has rid herself from all poisons. Then she will…she will… what does she do again? Oh yea, she makes music. I have yet to hear an Amy Winehouse song but I will take the paparazzi’s word for it.
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Amy Winehouse Is A Super Hero
Jan 22nd
Amy Winehouse while vacationing in the Caribbean saved a 39 year old woman from drowning! I know! Louise Williams was having a sailing lesson, lesson failed, when a 6 foot wave hit the boat and knocked her into the water. I am assuming the woman didn’t know how to swim, and therefore shouldn’t be sailing, and Amy came to the rescue. When asked about the rescue the woman said, ” I was bowled over by her kindness. She went out of her way to help me.”
Amy Winehouse nice? I mean I know she is a hard knocks heroin addict that likes to sneak up on people and steal their alcoholic beverages, but I just never saw her as a “nice” person. I guess I am being judgemental. But that is my job. Also according to The Sun, Amy is not only stealing people’s drinks but she is asking every man she comes across for sex. Ew. Now amy can add this to the things she accomplished in life. Smoked 200 cigarettes a week for 10 years, became a heroin addict, have video of her smoking crack leaked onto the internet, saved a woman from drowing and made an ass of herself in front of the whole world on a weekly basis. She made some music I think, but people will forget about that in time.
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Amy Winehouse’s Dealer Will Live Forever
Dec 15th
According to News Of The World, Blake Fielder, even though he is in prison, was offered $10,000 to kill Amy Winehouse’s dealer. The money was actually to hire a hit man since Blake is in the clink and isn’t getting out anytime soon. I am assuming the person who wants the drug dealer dead is someone who got ripped off by the dealer or they ripped him off or whatever.
Sure enough, Blake rejected the offer and Amy Winehouse’s dealer is living in a $14 million mansion filled with all of Amy Winehouse’s money that he rakes in on a daily basis. Let’s just be perfectly clear here. Some things in life are inevitable. Britney Spears will always be erratic. Madonna will always have terrible skin. Tori Spelling will always be desperate. And Amy Winehouse will always be hooked on drugs. Trying to fuck with that is like trying to fuck with karma. And karma doesn’t want to be fucked with. Now hand me that crack pipe Amy.
Links that choose hugs not drugs
Mmmm. DJ Tanner. Sexy. – IBBB
President Bush isn’t popular in Iraq- Drunken Stepfather
LiLo and SamRo are here and then they are gone- notorious news
The attention whores visit Santa- popbytes
Stacy Keibler brings her hotness to the red carpet- The Bastardly
Tila Tequila has bad breath- I Don’t Want Your Life
Danielle Lloyd looks like a pornographic princess- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Tara Reid is in rehab. Haha! – yeeeah
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi. My 2 favorite lesbos. – Geno’s World
Madonna fell on her ass- Allie Is Wired
Amy Winehouse And Blake Fielder Are Dunzo
Nov 24th
My God. These two are probably the grossest couple that has hit Hollywood in years. Or Britain for that matter. It seems that Blake has come to his senses and decided to ditch Wino and hook up with a hot German model. Who could possibly blame him? According to News Of The World, the marriage was based on sex and that the couple were secretly in to lesbian threesomes.
Usually threesomes are the type of thing that make you jump up and down and scream YAY! But in this case, it is just sad. I am a straight man, so I can honestly say that I do not know if Blake Fielder is a catch. He has been married to Amy Winehouse to probably not. BUT he did land hot German model Sophie Schandorff so he has to have something going for him. Amy Winehouse is single and on the prowl so remember your pepper spray fellas.
