Amy Winehouse just got breast implants about a month ago and I got say I likey. I likey a lot. However, the other 90% is still ugly as fuck. Now the singer’s father is stepping in and saying that Amy’s new boobs are “fantastic”. Is that what we need? Another Joe Simpson? Another celebrity dad that obsesses over his daughter’s amazing rack?

If I had a celebrity daughter I would probably try to focus in on her talent and not discuss her body. But me, I am not her dad. So I will be the first to say that I agree with Mitch Winehouse, her rack is amazing. Now she just needs to hang out at the beach topless like she did earlier this year. I am not interested in seeing any other part of her body naked but the tits, Hells yes.

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The Daily mail is just full of good stories today. This one is about Amy Winehouse stealing cocaine from Kate Moss’ purse. Of course the claim is coming from a money hungry drug addict who will say just about anything for a quick buck. That’s right, it is coming from Amy Winehouse’s ex Blake Fielder-Civil.

He also claims in the story that Amy became addicted to heroin when he gave her some one night. Again, might be a lie might be true. Apparently Amy stole some coke from Kate Moss’ purse that is just as big of a drug addict as Amy but she doesn’t go to rehab because she is pretty. Kate was so drunk that she didn’t even notice the two grams of the drug missing from her purse. Next week I think that Blake Fielder-Civil will claim he shot big foot and give pictures to the press of him after being abducted by aliens. Anything is possible with this dude.

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Links that take a bite out of crime. And boobs. Yea boobs.

Kim Kardashian is single- IDLYITW

Jennifer Love Hewitt gets into the comic book biz- Geno’s World

Michael Jackson’s doctor is in deep shit- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

LiLo goes coco on SamRo- Celeb News Wire

Tara Reid bikini pictures. They are not as bad as you think- yeeeah

Orlando Bloom is smart, kinda sumb- IDLYITW

Amy Winehouse is doing just about anything possible to keep her ass out of the clink. Even though a little bit of jail time might do the girl some good. The person in question is Sherene Flash. She is claiming that Amy assaulted her. With a name like Flash I am surprised she didn’t just upper cut Amy and run off at the speed of lightning. But you can’t judge a book by its cover.

Amy is due to come back to court in July, leaving her to smoke as much crack and shoot as much smack as she can before they finally put her behind bars. I used to be cynical and think that if you are famous it is not likely that you will go to jail, but ever since 2007 my views have changed dramatically. So we will see if this pans out. I am not sure how the courts work on the other side of the pond, but if it is anything like Hollywood, then we should be getting daily updates about her time in the pokey kind of like how TMZ did with the Paris Hilton incarceration.

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Amy Winehouse has returned from St.Lucia and apparently she is drug free. I will take that with a huge grain of salt. She is attempting to stage a comeback kind of like Britney Spears but she is not going to be performing in the U.S. anytime soon. She has an open warrant for her arrest, or whatever the fuck you call a warrant overseas, for assault. Because of this she can not be granted a temporary work visa and therefore will not be performing at the Coachella festival in California.

The good thing that has come of all of this is the bee hive weave. Oh how I missed the bee hive weave. I don’t think she has any new songs to promote so this would be a comeback comeback. It would just be a hey look at me I am sober thing. We’ll see where this leads but the fact that our borders are safely guarded from crack fiends and train wrecks makes me feel very safe and warm.

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Links that are American citizens

Miss Universe is in a bikini- IDLYITW

Kevin Bacon is boys with ZZ Top- Holy Moly

Bree Olsen is taking a shit. No that is not one of the Olsen twins- Drunken Stepfather

Vanessa Anne Hudgens ::drool:: – I Don’t Want Your Life

Kim Kardashian looks fat. And I am sure she will blog about that this week- yeeeah

Coolio is a crack head- Celeb News Wire

Jessica Biel is Jessica Rabbit- IDLYITW

Britney Spears is flexible- Allie Is Wired

Paris Hilton spreads her crabs to another beau- popbytes

Rihanna is back in the studio- Geno’s World

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Kingston Rossdale is already a playa- Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Hayden Panettiere is a bitch- notorious news

On Thursdseay morning at 4 a.m. the London police were called to Amy Winehouse’s apartment. She was not there. She was still in the caribbean where she is roaming around topless making people sick to their stomach around the world. According to People the only things that were taken can all be replaced including 2 guitars and a few pieces of recording equipment. Usually when a celebrity gets robbed I get all giddy and think about all the hot nude pics and possible sex tape that might hit the internet. This time not so much.

I am sure Amy won’t have a problem replacing what was stolen since she is saving money in the caribbean by stealing drinks instead of paying for them, and apparently she has given up crack so she has a huge amount of money in her budget that she doesn’t quite know how to spend yet. It kind of surprised me that she actually still has musical equipment in her place, I figured that would have been pawned a long time ago for drug money. I am sure even an event like this would not bring her back to London. She will stay in the caribbean on “vacation” a.k.a. rehab and only come back when she has rid herself from all poisons. Then she will…she will… what does she do again? Oh yea, she makes music. I have yet to hear an Amy Winehouse song but I will take the paparazzi’s word for it.

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Amy Winehouse while vacationing in the Caribbean saved a 39 year old woman from drowning! I know! Louise Williams was having a sailing lesson, lesson failed, when a 6 foot wave hit the boat and knocked her into the water. I am assuming the woman didn’t know how to swim, and therefore shouldn’t be sailing, and Amy came to the rescue. When asked about the rescue the woman said, ” I was bowled over by her kindness. She went out of her way to help me.”

Amy Winehouse nice? I mean I know she is a hard knocks heroin addict that likes to sneak up on people and steal their alcoholic beverages, but I just never saw her as a “nice” person. I guess I am being judgemental. But that is my job. Also according to The Sun, Amy is not only stealing people’s drinks but she is asking every man she comes across for sex. Ew. Now amy can add this to the things she accomplished in life. Smoked 200 cigarettes a week for 10 years, became a heroin addict, have video of her smoking crack leaked onto the internet, saved a woman from drowing and made an ass of herself in front of the whole world on a weekly basis. She made some music I think, but people will forget about that in time.

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According to News Of The World, Blake Fielder, even though he is in prison, was offered $10,000 to kill Amy Winehouse’s dealer. The money was actually to hire a hit man since Blake is in the clink and isn’t getting out anytime soon. I am assuming the person who wants the drug dealer dead is someone who got ripped off by the dealer or they ripped him off or whatever.

Sure enough, Blake rejected the offer and Amy Winehouse’s dealer is living in a $14 million mansion filled with all of Amy Winehouse’s money that he rakes in on a daily basis. Let’s just be perfectly clear here. Some things in life are inevitable. Britney Spears will always be erratic. Madonna will always have terrible skin. Tori Spelling will always be desperate. And Amy Winehouse will always be hooked on drugs. Trying to fuck with that is like trying to fuck with karma. And karma doesn’t want to be fucked with. Now hand me that crack pipe Amy.

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Links that choose hugs not drugs

Mmmm. DJ Tanner. Sexy. – IBBB

President Bush isn’t popular in Iraq- Drunken Stepfather

LiLo and SamRo are here and then they are gone- notorious news

The attention whores visit Santa- popbytes

Stacy Keibler brings her hotness to the red carpet- The Bastardly

Tila Tequila has bad breath- I Don’t Want Your Life

Danielle Lloyd looks like a pornographic princess- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Tara Reid is in rehab. Haha! – yeeeah

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi. My 2 favorite lesbos. – Geno’s World

Madonna fell on her ass- Allie Is Wired

My God. These two are probably the grossest couple that has hit Hollywood in years. Or Britain for that matter. It seems that Blake has come to his senses and decided to ditch Wino and hook up with a hot German model. Who could possibly blame him? According to News Of The World, the marriage was based on sex and that the couple were secretly in to lesbian threesomes.

Usually threesomes are the type of thing that make you jump up and down and scream YAY! But in this case, it is just sad. I am a straight man, so I can honestly say that I do not know if Blake Fielder is a catch. He has been married to Amy Winehouse to probably not. BUT he did land hot German model Sophie Schandorff so he has to have something going for him. Amy Winehouse is single and on the prowl so remember your pepper spray fellas.

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The word around the rumor mill is that Amy Winehouse is in the hospital yet again. What is surprising though is that she is not in there for drugs. She is there for a chest and lung infection. Which is probably because of drugs. What is funny is that Amy Winhouse’s Dad said Amy Wino’s lungs are “all gunked up” from cigarettes and crack cocaine. So he knows she is abusing drugs but just views it as an inconvenience that “gunks up your lungs.”I am still not sure when she is getting out of the hospital but it is expected for her to be released with a couple of days.

So don’t worry people. Your favorite train wreck will be released from the hospital soon enough to be seen on the streets under the influence of crack and showing off her latest facial scabs and scars for the paparazzi. When Chris Goodman her rep was asked about Wino’s condition, all he had to say was “she’s fine.” What a job that would be. A spokesman for Wino and having to convince people on a daily basis that your client “was fine.” Sad sad.

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Singer, crackhead, hottie dead-man-walkin’ Amy Winehouse has smoked so much crack that she has emphysema – a disease usually relegated to lifelong chain-smoking coal miners.

Amy Winehouse, who has been hospitalized and undergoing tests after collapsing, is suffering the early stages of emphysema, her father says.

“With smoking the crack cocaine and the cigarettes her lungs are all gunked up,” Mitch Winehouse tells the Sunday Mirror in the U.K. “There are nodules around the chest and dark marks. She’s got 70 percent lung capacity.” (PEOPLE)

I’m no psychologist but I think it’s safe to say that Amy Winehouse loves drugs. She loves drugs like Christians love Jesus and little kids love puppies. I think if you asked Amy Winehouse to chew off her own leg or stop smoking crack for a half day she would say, “Can I get some Lowry’s? Because nothing brings out the flavor of leg like some Lowry’s seasoning salt.” It’s true.