Fatback Media

While other websites may be highlighting this singer’s big booty from her concert pics a few days ago in the UK, what I want to point out is her “bacne,” as in back acne . . . as in I’m about to vomit. Who is this sebaciously-challenged celeb?

Kelly Clarkson.

Gross. If she ever loses her Vitamin Water contract, she would be a great spokesperson for Proactiv–they wouldn’t even need to Photoshop her “before” pictures. Anyway, I guess that millions of dollars can buy a girl a lot of things, but for Kelly proper dematology treatments is not one of them. Let’s look at Kelly in a bikini sans noticeable bacne and on the beach last summer . . .

[Fatback's note: 'ROID RAGE! GRRRRR!]

Okay, I pinky swear that we will not become a pro-American Idol fan freak site where we post about AI every day, but please indulge me for a minute . . . today I met Melinda Doolittle at her autograph signing event/promo tour for Edy’s ice cream, and I wanted to share the experience. I know it’s incredibly lame/gay/weird to go as a fan to these things, but honestly Melinda is the only contestant in seven AI seasons who has blown my mind with their vocals, thus I deemed meeting her worth suffering the embarrassment of telling my friends that I met a former AI contestant at an autograph signing at a grocery store.

All that aside . . Melinda has an amazing, warm personality! As conversations that involve me typically do, it quickly devolved into being all about me when she complimented my purple eye shadow–MAC pigment in “Violet,” thank you. I meant to ask her if she was recording an album–but we got talking about me. Anyway, if you loved Melinda on Season 6 of AI, you’d love her more in person. She’s really pretty, taller than I thought she’d be, and just a very warm person. It was so cute to watch her hug all over a two year boy who was sitting on her lap.

I told her that she was the only female contestant from AI that I would consider coming out to see–hot male ones, yeah, but any other female no. Speaking of “hot” male contestants, have a gander at the “hot” one this year, Michael Lee Johns, i.e. Michael Hutchence and Jim Morrison wannabe . . .

Resurrect your love of purple hair streaks and strutting because Danny Noriega just may be going on tour with American Idol if the rumors are true about the show implementing their “wild card” policy. Several American Idol message boards are “reporting” that on April 9th (the “Idol Gives Back” show), five booted semi-finalists will sing-it-out to compete for a slot on the American Idol tour. I’m not sure if by “semi-finalists” they mean those who belonged to the Top 24, or Top 16 or what, but I do know that if the producers were smart, i.e. adequately able to gauge the pulse of America, they’d bring back Danny . . . unless of course if his gig on Rosie O’Donell’s gay cruise next summer would conflict with a tour.

Huh?!? That pic above is SO not Brooke White from American Idol . . . only it is! And I don’t think it’s the magic of Photoshop that’s rendered her actually looking her age and not 40 as she does on the show. Rather, I think it’s because in this pic and the ones below, she has a tiny bit more weight on her . . . and she looks awesome with it! On AI she looks way older than 24, and I really think it’s because she’s anorexic. To look as skinny as she does even with the camera adding 10lbs. is really saying something. When I watch her on AI, I just want to feed her . . . like bring her to McDonald’s and have her order one of everything, and then make sure she doesn’t barf it up after eating it, of course. Check out these pics of Brooke pre-American Idol and most likely pre-anorexic, and let me know if you agree–though still really thin, she has a bit more weight in her face and looks amazing . . .

Hey I just got that. She’s Asian so she technically is a little racy.  Apparently, Rami…Rama…Ramada…whatever, has some “racy photos” floating around on the internet and it’s a huge scandal. Even bigger than that time they let women vote and own property. The horror!

Last week CelebTV.com uncovered racy photos of Malubay, 20, goofing around with some girlfriends on a fan Facebook page. Newly discovered photos show the singer is similar poses with what appears to be coworkers. Yahoo TV reports that Malubay was a hostess at a local sushi restaurant in her hometown of Miramar, Fla.

Malubay told the Filipino publication Pinoy Business she doesn’t want to be famous but does want to represent the Asian community well in a competition where the whole world is watching. (CelebTV)

Wow. Who wrote that, a Mayflower pilgrim? I’ve seen sexier poses at a crucifixion. Ramiele Malubay is smokin’ hot and she’s Asian so you knows she’s down for some freaky-deaky. And that’s not me being racist. But this is: Last week I was at a Chinese restaurant and told the waiter that the Chicken was rubbery and he said “Thanks!”. See?