Lennox Miller
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Homepage: http://www.lennoxmiller.com
Posts by Lennox Miller
Celebrity Skin Scare
Jul 11th
While the stereotype of Southerners may be that “we ain’t got no education,” Miss Lennox did indeed read “The Picture of Dorian Gray” in 11th grade and fondly remembers the namesake character who sinned in all ways imaginable but never grew old because a hidden painting of him instead bore the ugliness of his hedonism. Well, I do believe that pictured here, on the eve of her 43rd birthday, Courtney Love is the living incarnation of that wretched portrait.
It’s not just the fried hair, the too-thick capped teeth, or the turquoise fishnets afflicted with rhinestones that sprout forth like warts. No, it’s the whole hideous package. And it’s too egregious to reflect the sins of just one person. Clearly, Courtney is wearing the nefarious ways of several. Courtney is the culmination of every fashion faux paux, every botched plastic surgery, and every horrendous hair day ever had by Hollywood. And she not only manages to pull this all together in one look, but at the same time remarkably matches the jaundiced skin under her eyes to the yellow of her escort’s teeth. Happy Birthday Courtney! Oh and Miss Lennox thinks nose #8 is settling in quite nicely!
[Ed. note. Originally Lennox had several other shots of Cthulu up there but, honestly it scared the shit out of me. So I added two shots of stripper Lindsay and one of Miss Lennox, you know...just loungin'. -Fatback]
Hilary Gets Beyoncified
Jul 10th
These are dangerous times for blonde-haired, white-bread celebs. Britney has proven herself to be certifiably crazy, Jessica Simpson only makes headlines for losing weight, and the other Simpson seemingly doesn’t exist now that her physical transformation is complete. On the other hand, Jessica Alba currently corners the market on hot, Rihanna is in every single magazine and billboard this summer, and Gabrielle Garcelle Beauvais is rocking the cover and a spread in Playboy this month. Gone are the blondes, and in are a crop of gorgeously ethnic women. This is not good news for flaxen-haired Miss Lennox at all.
Shape magazine has also hopped on the exotic craze and figured out a way to appeal to both the demographics of their readership and the zeigeist that craves curvy, bronzed beauties. With a little Photoshop magic, they take like, OMG, white chick Hilary Duff and Beyoncify her in their current issue. Ethnic Hilary is certainly spicy and Miss Lennox loves it! But to make her a little less vanilla, Shape’s Photo Editor could have gone the extra mile and used the Pen Tool to give Hil some Shakira hips.
God y’all, I suddenly feel the strong urge to go for a spray tan.
