Lennox Miller
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Posts by Lennox Miller
How Not to Get Pregnant, A Primer for Hollywood
Dec 20th
Considering that there have been three celebrity pregnancies to single moms announced in the past week or two, I believe that in Hollywood there may be a lack of information about how one becomes pregnant and what prevents pregnancy. If there is not misunderstanding, then I fail to comprehend how you’d let a pregnancy occur when
- You are, oh I don’t know, 16 years old (Jamie-Lynn Spears)
- You just lost a bunch of weight, look awesome, and shot your first scantily clad photo shoot (Lily Allen), or
- You are one of the hottest actresses in the world and pregnancy could mean losing the body that your career is based on (Jessica Alba).
Now before you lecture me on how it’s totally superficial to think about pregnancy in the context of ruining a woman’s body, let me remind you that it’s not like these girls are married and planned to start a family. That’s a whole other story. But anyway, I just want to share some facts about pregnancy that may help other celebs not to become prego:
- You can get pregnant even if you are 16. Oh and your popularity with 11 year-old Nickelodeon fans does not provide protection. Plus, if you have an insane famous sister, this makes you more prone to ruining your life as well. Get sterilized.
- If you are a rich A-lister with an ass to die for, your boyfriend is a nobody who isn’t even that attractive and is rumored to have given you Herpes, chances are he’ll knock you up. God sometimes plays jokes like that. Make him wear two condoms.
- When you lose 30 pounds or so and get to a healthy weight, you tend to enhance your fertility. Thus at the point that the media is making a row over your weight loss, you will need to get on and stay on the pill.
Just some fun facts, kids. Anyway, here’s some of what we very well may never see again from Jessica Alba . . .
Lily Allen Is Hot in January’s British GQ
Dec 18th
I know, I know . . . you couldn’t imagine a day when sloppy, large, boorish Lily Allen would be hot. Me either. But here we are faced with the January’s issue of British GQ which features a spread of Lily that showing off her new body resulting from watching her diet, exercising, and working with a hypnotist. And damn it, she is hot.
Lily looks amazing, but it annoys me to recall how long she spent making excuses for being heavy. She would ardently tell the press that she’d never be skinny because her body wasn’t built “that way,” that she was happy as a Size 12, that she hated being compared to Amy Winehouse who was skinnier than her, etc . . . But clearly her body can indeed lose weight, and clearly she was not happy as a Size 12 (but who the hell wants to look like Amy Winehouse–nasty!).
Seriously, now that Lily actually tried to lose weight and succeeded, it’s quite obvious that her body is built “that way” after all . . .
The First Glimpse of the New Ashley Tisdale
Dec 17th
This weekend Ashley Tisdale gave the public their first glimpse of her new nose at Z100′s Jingle Ball in Madison Square Garden. From what I can tell, her surgeon lifted and thinned her tip, and perhaps shaved her bridge down a bit–interesting since none of these techniques are necessary to fix a deviated septum as Ashley claimed to have as the reason for her surgery.
“I’ve known for years that I’ve had a deviated septum,” Tisdale told PEOPLE. It wasn’t until after the 22-year-old toured with High School Musical in South America last spring that she realized the magnitude of the problem. After performing her solo set, Tisdale exited the stage in a panic. (source)
But, before you say, “Her new nose is gross/piggy/fake-looking, etc . . . ” keep in mind that it will take a full year to take its final shape, and over the course of the next year will look different on some days than others as it swells and goes down for no good reason other than, when a rhinoplasty heals, this is what it does. A rhinoplasty is a type of plastic surgery that doesn’t provide instant gratification, but, rather, every couple of months gives you fun little bursts of changes that seem to have appeared out of nowhere. You can wake up one day and all of a sudden you have little divets on the side of your nose that you swear you didn’t have the day before, or your nose is seriously smaller than it has been.
How do I know so much about rhinoplasties? Uhhhh, maybe I too once had a deviated septum that needed some fixing . . .
Spike TV Hosts the Best Looking Award Shows!
Dec 10th
Hey, I don’t know if Tila Tequila is gay for pay (i.e. pretending to be bisexual on her reality show since it means a fat paycheck), and I don’t care . . . but I do care that she showed up at SPIKE TV’s Video Game Awards looking adorable as always. And, she wasn’t the only hot girl there. I’ll give it to SPIKE TV–hands down they always have the best looking attendees and presenters at their award shows. I mean first the “Scream Awards” was packed full of tasty starlet hotness, and now the “Video Game Awards” is following suit . . . not to mention the TV channel hosts the HOOTERS Swimsuit Pageant.
Damn. This channel is brilliant. Evidence of their commitment to hotness at their awards shows is below . . .
