Lindsay Lohan has been wearing a SCRAM bracelet for about a week or so now and she had to go through the agonizing pain all alcoholics do and attend Memorial Day bbqs and whatnot and watch people get hammered and there isn’t shit for her to do about it.

Of course Lindsay is too good to go to a scummy bbq so she went to some parties instead and instead of getting wasted she drank can after can of red bull. I like red bull but if you drink too many cans of it, not only will you wanna jump out of your skin with energy but you will wanna puke up whatever is in your stomach cause you start shaking so badly.

Of course I have something that is known to give women energy for hours and has been known to cure cancer. I won’t say what it is but it  come from my body from an organ that rhymes with fleenis. Just sayin’.

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