Havlamagoo. I mean kimpamalak. I am sorry I can not seem to talk straight since I heard the killer news that Nicole Scherzinger is back on the market. I have a personal obsession with this chick and it is all her fault. Any smokin’ hot chick who can stand on stage with like 5 other smokin’ hot chicks and still come lookin’ the smokiness and the hottest, that is a girl who deserves a reward.

And that reward is me. I e-mailed her agent and gave him my phone number and Nicole has a week to get in contact with me. I will be ready for her anytime but if she wants the champagne and rose pedals then she will need to call by tonight as the ice will melt and the pedals with flounder.

After a few drinks and some heavy petting by the fire we may take it to the next step. I don’t want her to think I am easy and put out on the first date. I am not a sexual object Nicole. OK for you I will totally slut out but make sure you tell the other pussycat dolls that I was hard to convince to have sex with. Or you can just tell them I am hard. Either one will portray the message.

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