Charlie Sheen is a very lucky man. He was blessed with good looks and has a killer career in Hollywood and he could have just about any chick that he wanted. But for some reason he settled for a chick that has a fucked up past with busts both for drinking and drugs. Her most recent but (which isn’t all that recent) was a cocaine possession charge that she was charged with March 9, 2001.

Of course when I say he “settled” for her is because he can do a lot better. If I were dating a chick that looked even similar to Brooke Mueller I would tell everyone I know and call my mother and say, “See? I did grow up to be a ‘somebody’”. Then on our way to dinner she would compliment me on my clothes and touch me on the thigh and I would jizz my pants, crash my car, and kill us both. But it would be good while it lasted.

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