Fatback Media

Kristen Stewart was prodded for like the 18 millionth time about if she is or isn’t having an off stage romance with her Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson. I am personally hoping that those two keep their greasy selves to themselves because I would probably gag if I saw Kristen making out with a “regular”, “clean” guy.

I would make the joke that they are swapping STDs but let’s face it, these two filthy greaseballs have not slept with anyone other than each other. She was half joking when she was asked and said, “We are. We aren’t. I’m a lesbian.” This would actually be good news for me. Cause then she could hook up with a relatively good looking and normal lesbian and they wouldn’t need and lubricant to get the job done. Kristen could just run her fingers through her oily hair and the other, lesser, unknowing lesbian would just think she has some new cool oil dispensing weave. Watching the two of them have sex would be like throwing a pint of motor oil into a bucket of water and watching all the pretty waves pollute the purity.

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