Fatback Media

It is official folks. Ivanka Trump is off the market. I know there are a lot of male gold diggers out there who had dreams of marrying like the richest girl on the planet. The douche bag who was responsible for marrying her is named Jared Kushner. He is the publisher of New York Observer.

I am not sure if that means he owns the paper or magazine or whatever the fuck it is. Point is he has some amazing tits to suck on for the rest of his life. If she is traditional, they will conceive a child on their honeymoon and Ivanka will never look the same again. These are the brakes. But for billions of dollars in inheritence, I would totally put up with a nagging fat bitch for a decade of my life. Easily.

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