Heidi Montag Nearly Nude and Airbrushed
So this is Heidi Montag in in her *ahem* adult magazine photoshoot.
Two things:
- I’ve seen more nudity in the Bible
- I’ve seen less airbrushing on a beaded t-shirt in Myrtle Beach South Carolina
Why do they airbrush the SHIT out of these things? She’s like 24 and has huge tits. She’s all set. It’s not like she’s some aging actress trying to get back some of the glory of the Buffy days (sorry Kristy! Call me!). We don’t need “sexy elegant” here. This magazine sits on the back of the toilet in a frat house, not the desk of the CEO of Bank of America next to Yachting Digest. I mean how classy can you really be with your tits hanging out in a spank mag photo session? But I digress…
Speaking of naked tits. THERE ARE NONE. It’s the ultimate tease by a girl who will probably make every man in her life put his fist through a wall. I’m pretty sure Jesus doesn’t give you partial credit. So, enjoy? These will probably be gone within a few hours.
Maria Fowler Likes the Beach
about 10 months ago - No comments
This is Maria Fowler a “glamour model”. Glamour Model is British for “loikes ta show ‘er tits, Guv’nah”. I’m not sure what they feed these chicks but it apparently grows awesomely perfect breasts and blocks the proclivity to wear shirts. It’s like a combination of fried fish, Guinness and angel semen.
Merci Beaucoup, Rosie Jones
about 11 months ago - No comments
Here’s Rosie Jones in some magazine somewhere for uh, something. I’m just calling it in at this point. I need a bottle of cabernet. Merci.
Marisa Miller En Espanol
about 11 months ago - No comments
Oh man, new Marisa Miller nudes have just made my day. I remember being a wee lad of 24 and discovering Perfect 10 in teh intarnets and making Marisa Miller the screensaver in my spankbank. She’s still got it folks and she’s old as shit, like, 32 or something. Which is like a million in model years, but
Brooklyn Decker is Nude.
about 11 months ago - No comments
Brooklyn Decker is naked and artsy. So wear a beret and smoke Gauloises after you wank into your sock. Abientot!
OK, Miley Cyrus. I Give In.
about 11 months ago - No comments
You win, Miley. I give up trying to keep Dateline off my front porch. With a rack like that and the can-do attitude we’ve been seeing, you’ve won the boners hearts and minds of the American people. What’s that you say? She’s 18? Well that’s horse of a different color, or as I like to
News Hotties: Evelyn Taft
about 11 months ago - No comments
Evelyn Taft is our favorite SF Bay area news hottie. She grew up speaking Russian in the Bay Area, according to her bio, and I’d love to hear her whisper lubovnik in my ear while we lay naked on a bearskin rug in front of a crackling fire sipping honeyed vodka. But I digress… Besides
Kelly Brook Needs Spongebath
about 11 months ago - No comments
Man, if there’s one thing I love it’s naked women. Especially naked British women with huge natural boobs and a landing stripped vajajay. So, can anyone tell me WTF happened here? I mean, I still have a boner, but I have an urge to sniff Pine-Sol and that makes me confused. Fucking photographers. Leave
Lindsay Lohan Likes Drugs
about 1 year ago - No comments
Apparently, Lindsay Lohan couldn’t keep her nose clean during probation and has failed her mandatory drug test. This means she may face prison time…oh who the fuck am I kidding. She could snort coke from the canoed skull of a her own aborted fetus and drive her car right up the LA County Courthouse steps
Kim Kardashian Nude : Redux
about 1 year ago - No comments
Okay, so I’ve been holding on to most of these for while because a certain Men’s Magazine get’s their crotchless panties all in a wad when you post their pictures, even though is obviously fair use and it actually drives sales. But I digress. Kim Kardashian is nude. YOU HEAR THAT GOOGLE? These pics are
Sofia Vergara For The Win
about 1 year ago - No comments
Sofia Vergara has been getting a lot of press these days because of the Emmy win for Modern Family and because of her gigantic Columbian boobies. This is Sofia out and about in LA proving that she can look sexy in that dress that your girlfriend wears and thinks is hot because it’s so thin
about 2 years ago
Very nice!!! You are correct – there could and should be nudity here … she really does not have anything to hide!
about 2 years ago
Think how frightening it would be if they didn’t airbrush those photos.
Amazingly enough, even nudity won’t make her attractive.
about 2 years ago
These cheesy pics are the start of the downfalls of the iconic “Playboy” magazine. With thier new editor who used to edit “Maxim”, this is the shit we’re gonna be expected to pay $7 for. No thanks Playboy, keep your cheesy no-nude photos. Meanwhile I will buy Penthouse at least there the women dont have thier clothes on in a Mens “nudy” mag.
about 2 years ago
oh““`my god…they are so sexy…i love…
about 2 years ago
Rather see a dick
about 2 years ago
Fatty! I recognize your writing anywhere without even looking at the byline. Miss you, babe!
Yeah it’s Emily. Who else?
about 2 years ago
HAHA! Good going Em. I did write this one! Drop me a line. I’d love to have some Em stuff back on the site.
xoxo
F.
about 1 year ago
LouRob your just jealous cause she looks better then your wife or girlfriend or even your mom