Archive for July, 2009
Madonna Kills People
Jul 17th
OK so maybe Madonna isn’t a serial killer herself, but her little bullshit performances around the world (that feature her trying to look like a sexy 20 year old but actually just depicts a sorry old lady with witch arms) caused two people to die this week. It happened when they were setting up her stage. One man was hit with a crane and died instantly and the police aren’t saying if the second person who just died was a male or a female or how he/she died.
I am sure Madonna is oblivious to all this shit and could care less about the lives of stage hands. When someone came into Madonna’s dressing room and told her a second person died while setting up her stage she said, ” Did you see my thong? I bought a new thong. Wanna see it? It is black. This… now this will make 20 year olds want to fuck me again.”
Links that are very appealing to 20 year olds
Britney Spears is already cheating- IDLYITW
Jordan is in a bikini/lingerie thing – Allie Is Wired
Ashley Tisdale; still in a bikini, still hot- Drunken Stepfather
Renee Zellweger is the weirdest looking person in Hollywood- Celeb News Wire
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Kim Kardashian is a good salesman- IDLYITW
Mischa Barton is in the Nut House
Jul 17th
Recently Mischa Barton has been making headlines mostly for her puffy appearance since having her wisdom teeth removed which made her look like a blow fish. Don’t get me wrong she still looks hot only now she has a puffy second chin that makes it looks like her diet consists of Big Macs and nothing else. This isn’t the reason I posting this today though.
As it turns out, Mischa Barton had some sort of mental breakdown or freak out or some shit and now she is in the nut house. The technical term for the psychiatric hold is 5150. You might remember hearing that term when Brit Brit was commited but that was back in Jan. 2008 so it may have slipped your memory. Basically what 5150 means is that the person is a threat to him/herself or others and need to be taken to the looney bin involuntarily. She is now residing in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.
Someone Give This Guy an Award
Jul 16th
This is fucking classic. This paparazzi gets the root of the age old idea of what to do when there isn’t any celebrity boobage or porn anywhere to be seen? Answer: make your own! This is Paris Hilton minding her own business shopping at some little trinket store to get some “going green” products when this pap sees she is wearing a dress, and most female celebrities don’t wear underwear with a dress so he goes out of his way to snap a pic of her poonany under her skirt as she walks around the block.
The fact that this guy has the balls to do this in public and in broad daylight makes me want to give him a high five. More than that! I want to give a high five and a cookie. I hope the pic this guy took will actually surface somewhere and he doesn’t save it on his private computer to jack off to. I mean saving it for masturbation is the right thing to do but only after sending it in to the blogosphere first. This guy = THE MAN.
Links that think underwear is overrated
Yes please- IDLYITW
Jamie Lynn Spears is single- Allie Is Wired
Phoebe Price is ridiculously ugly- Drunken Stepfather
John Mayer is the reason for the Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo split- Celeb News Wire
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Something for the ldaies- IDLYITW
Amy Winehouse and Husband Split
Jul 16th
Amy Winehouse and her now former husband haven’t been together for months. Blake Fielder-Civil filed for a divorce forever ago and if you have ever in your life seen anypicture of Amy Winehouse you would know why. The reason for the divorce according to Blake was the fact that Amy cheated and that they can not forgive each other blah blah.
I don’t think anyone cares that they got divorced, the truth is the British paparazzi who are fucking crazy just want to see Amy slip into a depression so she turns back to drugs which will give us another trainwreck in the tabloids that the news desperately needs and then cross your fingers for video surfacing of her shooting smack or smoking crack. When asked by the adoring public outside the courtroom if she had another guy in mind to date she just queefed and burped a little bit and escaped in her “bug”.
