Fatback Media

Lindsay Lohan, for the past few months, maybe longer, has been driving around a pornographer’s Maserati. I don’t know why he lent her the car, but he has taken it back and put it up for auction. The only stabbing question is, how much will a banged up luxury car banged up by Lindsay Lohan go for?

It is a beautiful car and the starting bid is a modest $25,000. It is a Maserati, and now a celebrity Maserati so I am sure it will go for over $100,000 but nothing is set in stone yet. It isn’t like Lindsay had much of a chance of keeping the car anyway. When the pornographer asked for it back LiLo said, “I’ll fuck you for it.” In which point the pornographer remembered all the porn stars who are amazing in bed just sucked him off an hour earlier and when he pictured Lohan naked his penis coiled into his body. You see Lindsay? Not everyone wants to tap that freckled ass of yours.

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