Lindsay Lohan’s House Was Burglarized

Lindsay Lohan, seen here showing off her immaculate armpit, was burglarized yesterday afternoon.Police responded to an alarm that went off at the LiLo crib and found that someone tried to break in from the back door and a window was tampered with. Of course Lindsay was too busy to actually show up at her home when the cops arrived and they thought at first that the house was ransacked.

Turned out that wasn’t the case at all. Lohan is just a slob! Apparently nothing was taken, police aren’t even sure if the thieves had successfully entered the home. No word on what was so important that Lohan couldn’t be bothered to show up at her own house after the break in. Probably at the Chateau Marmont trying to pick up chicks. You know, in that way me and LiLo are a lot alike. We should hook up.

I can help her clean up because when I was at her house yesterday it…er…I mean I have not seen the house but I am sure it is a mess. I can help, clean, yea.