Oprah Wants You To Be Fat Just Like Her

Oprah Winfrey loves her audience. All of them. And by all I mean all 300 pounds of them. Apparently Oprah got wind that her favorite chicken place KFC was serving a “healthier” and by healthier I mean 1,000 calories per piece instead of 1,200 calories per piece, form of chicken. The key was, no skin. Since this chicken has been released on the market, Oprah thought it was a good idea to offer a coupon on her website good for a two piece skinless chicken combo.

I love KFC too, but I don’t go offering coupons on my blog. And I sure as hell wouldn’t promise coupons to millions of people if I had my own show. But this is just Oprah going over the top again, like the time she gave away a shitload of cars. Chick is fucking manic. But the story here is that pretty much everyone, and I mean everyone, who downloaded the coupons off Oprah’s site are now, in unison, lining up around KFC’s across the country demanding their free chicken.

There are some spies on the scene of one of the KFC stores, they say, ” I just returned from my lunch break hoping to use the attached coupon to score some free KFC grilled chicken at the mid town location 47 E. 42nd Street. Well I guess around 200 people also had the same idea with coupons in hand. When I finally gave up ( after 30 minutes of arguing with other customers) a small RIOT started going on outside the store with people screaming at the manager while he won’t let them use their free KFC coupons (issued by Oprah). ”

Congratulations Oprah, you are fucking up our nation far greater than any terrorist could dream of. Not only are you causing chaos on the street, you are making the nation fatter one viewer at a time. I hope you are proud of yourself.

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