Archive for April, 2009
People Still Stalk Britney Spears?
Apr 17th
Thursday morning a woman was arrested on the property of Britney Spears’ California home. She was arrested wearing full camouflage and sporting a camera. I don’t know what she was doing there as Britney wasn’t home. What is really spectacular about this whole situation is that someone actually cares enough about Britney Spears to actually stalk her.
And it doesn’t end there, she was actually an American Idol season 5 contestant who auditioned with Britney Spears’ Everytime.Afterwards Britney didn’t miss a beat and went on to perform at one of her concerts. Her two boys watched the sexually charged show but apparently they were taken away before Britney started dry humped a stripper pole. Some day they will know the truth. The truth that Britney is an attention whoring skank that has practically no sanity. When that day comes I will befriend the two sons so I can get a cut of the cash when Britney dies from a cheetos overdose and gives all of her money to her two sons.
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Links that creep darkly in the night
I can see Lady GaGa’s…black tape?- IDLYITW
Susan Boyle is the ugliest singer in the world- Amy Grindhouse
Amy Winehouse wants to write a childrens book. No I am not kidding. – Celeb News Wire
MSNBC talks teabagging- yeeeah
Ali Lohan has herpees- Allie Is Wired
Hayden Panettiere is cute- I Don’t Want Your Life
Dina Lohan is brilliant- IDLYITW
Pink is in her bra- Drunken Stepfather
Guess the breast! I already know the answer- Holy Moly
Audrina Patridge has a hot sister- IBBB
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Lauren Hildebrandt interview- Geno’s World
Drew Barrymore looks good- popbytes
The embodiment of wrinkles- Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Suri Cruise turns 3! – notorious news
Ashton Kutcher Is A Twitter Freak
Apr 17th
A lot of people use Twitter these days. It is a cool way to connect with people. Ashton Kutcher, or aplusk on Twitter, just hit the 1 million followers mark beating out CNN and P.Diddy. Here he is pictured above on some streaming video thing talking about how he is such a cool guy. Really nothing good has come of him having Twitter except that one time when he Tweeted a pictures of Demi Moore bending over in a bikini.
If he can consistently Tweet pictures of Demi Moore semi naked, then this accomplishment is a success. If he just uses the account to write worthless douche bag banter, then this should be a day of sorrow instead of celebration. I am proud to say I am not following Ashton and I never will. I like to be entertained on this site, not to be star struck like so many horny 15 year old girls out there. Is that right? I can meet horny 15 year old girls on Twitter? What the fuck am I doing here?
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Michelle Rodriguez Is “Born Again”
Apr 16th
Michelle Rodriguez says she is leaving her trouble past behind her and is “born again.” Is that the same thing as getting laid? If she needs help with that I am available. Of course Michelle is a bi sexual so it wouldn’t be any fun unless we had another hot Hollywood female in the room. I can help her with that too. At the end of the day Michelle Rodriguez just said a bunch of words and didn’t get naked.
Here are some of those words. She says, ” I knock on wood that the media will understand me. But if I saw only one percent of my life, I would think the same thing everybody else thinks. So when they don’t get it, I don’t feel lost. My whole thing is, I am waiting for them to catch up.” How deep. How thoughtful. How… oops, got a boner. Gotta go.
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Links that are bi sectional. Or is it bi sexual? Bi sectional.
Chicks like watches- IDLYITW
KimKardashian has camel toe- IBBB
I Love You, Man is a good movie- Holy Moly
Rumor Willis is see through. Close your eyes- Drunken Stepfather
Amanda Bynes still has legs- I Don’t Want Your Life
Britney Spears might be engaged but more than likely just slutty- yeeeah
Kendra Wilkinson is subtle- IDLYITW
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Lady GaGa looks good no matter what her hair looks like- Allie Is Wired
Matthew McConaughey is a moron- Celeb News Wire
Nadya Suleman is patenting the name Octomom- Amy Grindhouse
Shawn Johnson got an award- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Spencer Pratt: Attention whore-in-chief- Geno’s World
Why is Drew Barrymore dressed like Jennifer Lopez? – popbytes
American Idol judges use their save- Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Jessica Simpson is validated- notorious news
Heidi Klum Is Preggers
Apr 16th
I love supermodels. And it annoys me greatly when they sacrifice their perfect bodies in the name of family. It is selfish. So now it has been confirmed that Heidi Klum will roll the dice yet again and is pregnant with her fourth child. For some reason, nobody blew the whistle when they saw her 4 month old baby bump. How the fuck do people miss these things?
And check out some of the names for these kids. She has a 3 year old named Henry Gunther Ademola Dashtu Samuel and a 2 year old named Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo Samuel. What the fuck happened to John? They already have a nice simple last name Klum. Kids on the play ground don’t have much ammo for that one. But now they have a virtual smorgasbord of names to choose from to make fun of. If I were her kids I would kill myself and leaving a suicide note that read” I love sucking on my mom’s titties but my name sucks.” More pics of her with her screaming kids below.
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