It’s Not Her Car

Lindsay Lohan has been seen and photographed on multiple occasions in the past few weeks driving around a $115,000 Maserati. Seeing as she hasn’t worked since last summer, people are questioning how she could afford such a car. Well, she couldn’t. The car does not belong to her. It belongs to porn “king” Dennis DeSantis. I don’t know why they are calling him a porn king because I have never heard of him before and I have never heard of any of his porn films before. Including Origami So Horny and Butt Sluts.

Granted the names of these porns sound kind of funny, and are probably pretty sexy, I don’t see him as being any kind of “king.” Nevertheless, he has enough money to fork over a $100k car to Lohan’s loopy ass. The only question is, why? The only problem is, I don’t care. She has already been in one fender bender and by the time she is through with the car she will have totally destroyed it. I just wish there were some “strings attached” to this car deal. You drive my car, you swallow some cum on film. You borrow the Maserati, you do a gang bang scene in my next flick. Now THAT is a contract. But let’s face it, Lohan is a prude and won’t strip for his cameras. Porn “king” my ass.