Chris Bown Is A Sissy

Hey, did you hear about Chris Brown being investigated for beating up an unknown female victim? You did? Maybe that is because every single website on the internet is reporting it right now. The news actually broke last night on E! with Ryan Gaycrest. Chris Brown, a sissy, didn’t perform at the Grammys and neither did his girlfriend Rihanna. People are still speculating whether or not Rihanna was the girl abused in the incident. The incident occurred early in the morning Sunday morning and Chris has since turned himself in.

The woman who was attacked had visual injuries and identified Chris Brown as her attacker. See this kind of gets under my skin. When a guy gets into it with another guy the worst thing you could call him is a hot head. When two chicks get into a fight it is super cool and you scream “girl fight!” And then everyone goes about their day. Here is Chris Brown, who is already a skinny little bitch getting into an argument with a girl and then beating the shit out of her in a limo somewhere in L.A. Why do the worst crimes occur in limos? What about the limo drivers? What do they do? Do they have full blown confidentiality with the passengers in the car? Are they going to bite their tounge in the hopes of getting a bigger tip at the end of the night? Of course only one conclusion can be taken away from this whole situation. How do I become a limo driver? I can turn that wheel thing. And when two girls start going down on each other in the backseat, I won’t tell the boyfriend. Hell even when teen pop stars start doing lines of blow off of each others breasts I will turn the other cheek. I think this is a job I would fit in at.

UPDATE: I learned that Chris Brown was actually in a rented Lamborghini when he beat the shit out of Rihanna. I still stand by my limo statements. Now I need to go get a driver’s liscense.