Madonna’s Daughter Thinks She Can Act

Madonna’s daughter Lourdes, who I guess doesn’t have a last name, thinks she can pull her own weight on the big screen. She has just recently enrolled in Manhattan’s Professional Children’s School. This school was made famous by Macaulay Culkin and Scarlett Johansson. Let’s face it, Lourdes, which is one of the most bizarre names I have ever heard, is not going to grow up and become the next Scarlett Johansson.

Becoming the next Macaulay Culkin may be within her sights. I don’t usually critique women who are under the age of 18, but I think the most obvious thing for this kid to do before attempting to try acting would be to shave that heinous uni brow. That thing is massive. Another thing to do before heading to the big screen is change her first name. Getting an actual second name wouldn’t hurt her much either. But I don’t think Lourdes would become the next Madonna of the big screen. When my daughter wanted to try acting I said,” you can once you finish your vegetables.” After forcing broccoli down her throat with a pencil, she said that she didn’t want to do acting and didn’t want to have anything to do with me for the rest of her life. Fucking kids, changing their minds every 10 seconds.

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