Archive for December, 2008
Jacko Has A Cold
Dec 22nd
OK so saying he has a cold is drastically understating what is actually wrong with Michael Jackson. He is actually suffering from a rare disease called Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency. Two of the symptoms from this disease is emphysema and gastrointestinal bleeding. Ouch. He is also going blind in his left eye.
That whacko Jacko. Always wearing silly gloves, always wearing silly clothes, always introducing silly diseases to America. What a character. I wonder if it will go down in history as only a coincidence that once Michael passes away child molestation rates drop dramatically.
Saggy Balls Got Popped
Dec 19th
Cisco Adler a.k.a. Saggy Balls got arrested recently for a bar room brawl. No word yet on rather or not charges will be filed and if he will be headed to the clink. But we will find out soon enough. Apparently his music career isn’t exactly going as planned because the fight started over an argument that erupted when he couldn’t pay his tab.
I won’t jump all over saggy balls for not having a promising career. He banged Mischa Barton, Kimberly Stewart and Paris Hilton. Which is 3 more starlets than I have ever fucked in my life time. So this guy is in my cool book. Not someone I would defame just because he doesn’t have any money.
Links that have a tight scrotum
DJ Tanner is so dreamy- IBBB
Jeremy Piven is a sicko- notorious news
Doubt looks like a great movie- popbytes
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Scarlett Johansson is pretty- yeeeah
The Cast of How I Met Your Mother is funny- Allie Is Wired
Priscilla Presley looks scary- The Bastardly
Reason 9832 why Rumor Willis is fugly- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Friends the movie? God I hope not- Geno’s World
Speidi infect Santa Claus- I Don’t Want Your Life
Goth chick from NCIS topless! – Drunken Stepfather
Katie Holmes Is An Old Lady
Dec 19th
Katie Holmes is a smokin’ hot girl. And when she was in her hey day back when she was starring on Dawson’s Creek she was probably considered one of the hottest girls in Hollywood. But as she got older, her hair got shorter, her movie roles dried up and now she is married to some one who most people in Hollywood and nation wide consider to be mentally unfit.
And she is not getting any younger. She just celebrated her 30th birthday on the stage which she performs All My Sons. Tom Cruise arrange to have a huge birthday cake brought out to her and the audience all sung Happy Birthday to her. How…creepy. According to US magazine they also “celebrated” before Cruise left NY to head back to L.A. Ooooh. What does “celebrated” mean? Did they have hot old people sex in the shower with a seat? Probably not. Katie probably spent the night in the bathroom popping her oral herpees blisters and Tommy sat crying in the bedroom because he misses the days when he could come out of the closet at any time. He is kind of bogged down now.
Riddle Me This, Why Is Eddie Murphy Not Funny?
Dec 18th
It is being reported today From The Sun, just one week after the dvd release of the hit blockbuster The Dark Knight that Eddie Murphy will be in the next Batman movie and will play the riddler. I have a few friends who are HUGE into comic books and they are very upset. They are not racists and are not upset because there will be a black riddler. No, they are upset that such an unfunny man could get such a major role in a growing franchise.
Rumors are also circulating that Shia Labeouf will co-star in the film by playing Robin. My friends are pissed about that too because before The Dark Knightwas released, the producers of the Batman films said that there would be no Robin in the upcoming flicks. When he was given the role of the riddler Eddie asked, ” will I get to do my James Brown impression?” And the producers, obviously puzzled,said, ” I am sorry that is not in the script.” At which point Eddie hung his head in his hands crying and screamed,” That’s all I got Hollywood! That’s all I got!”
Links that lost it all in Vegas
Suri Cruise is drunk! – IBBB
Carmen Electra nude in Playboy pics- Drunken Stepfather
Best moments in Britney Spears’ career. There’s only 10 – notorious news
Kim Kardashian dresses stupid- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Jodie Sweetin is hooked on meth. Haha! – Geno’s World
Jen Aniston gave Letterman her skanky ass tie- yeeeah
Happy Birthday Xtina- Allie Is Wired
Cute college girl of that day- College Humor
Will Smith is a scientologist- d-listed
Megan Fox is still on the prowl- The Bastardly
Paris Hilton’s car is pink like her pussy- I Don’t Want Your Life
