Archive for November, 2008
Britney Spears, Busted But Bangable
Nov 19th
Maybe it’s the holidays, or maybe I’m getting a little drunk this morning, but Britney’s rack is making me tingle. I know I’ve ripped her in the past, but the way she looks now, I would tear that shit up like a raccoon in a metal trashcan. There’s just something that’s white hot about a ragged out former teen beauty queen with two kids and a loser ex-husband, but then again I was born in trailer park.The thing that really puts the frosting on my Red Velvet is that she’s on lockdown from her kids. No strings, baby. I gotta let my Freebird Fly.
Ashley Dupre Is A “Normal” Prostitute
Nov 19th
I have been to Vegas many times and I can tell you that Ashley Dupre is not a “normal” prostitute. If I am not mistaken she was making about $3,000 an hour for her services. Most people know her as the hooker who brought down New York governor Eliot Spitzer. I remember her as the chick I am jealous of because she made $3,000 an hour just having sex with people. Why can’t guys get gigs like that? They dig sex way more.
She tells People, ” Everyone knows me as ‘that girl,’ but I am not just ‘that girl.’ I have a lot of depth, a lot of layers.” Yes, you have a lot of layers of clothes and I want to help you strip them off. This broad is talking to People magazine trying to clear her name, but let’s be honest, she doesn’t feel bad about what she did. And to ensure a thing like this never happens again, they hired a blind governor. She doesn’t feel bad about what she did and she shouldn’t. She is now saying that now that she is done with being an escort she will turn her career towards porn.
Her first flick? Do you Spitzer or do you swallow?
Paris Hilton Is Unfaithful
Nov 18th
Everybody knows that Paris Hilton is a herpes ridden whore but in most circles, people have the idea that she has finally settled down with boyfriend Benji Madden. Don’t worry people, the old Wonky is back. During the 2008 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Paris was seen and photographed getting closer to her old beau Stavros Niarchos. To be honest, I don’t see what Paris saw in Benji, he is a douche bag who always wears funny little hats.
A spy at OK magazine says, ” They looked like they were back to their old ways and you never would have thought that she had a boyfriend. She was all about Stavros. They left together and went back to their hotel.” What a slut! Hot damn! I am excited that the old slutty and attention whoring Paris Hilton is back. This deserves a holiday. As of today, November 18 will be known as Slut Day. After Benji sees these photos I do not know how he will react. But look at this guy. A shipping heir with a weird name and looks to boot. I can’t blame her for leaving Benji “douche bag” Madden. I give the douche bag/wonky relationship a week before Paris is officially back on the market.
Links that overdosed on sexy pills
Michelle Trachtenberg has ugly legs- The Bastardly
Wino’s crackhive returns- d-listed
More The Hills disaster news- IBBB
Kim Kardashian is photoshopped- Drunken Stepfather
Ashlee Simpson wants her baby NOW! – notorious news
Cute college girl of the day- College Humor
Britney Spears is still trying to be sexy- Allie Is Wired
Angelina Jolie is a cry baby- Geno’s World
Karolina Kurkova doesn’t have a belly button- Celebrity Dirty Laundry
Emma Watson is rich- I Don’t Want Your Life
Heather Locklear May Be Headed For The Clink
Nov 18th
She may be one of the sexiest women alive but that won’t help her from going to jail in the next coming weeks and months. Heather Locklear has been formally charged with DUI and that carries a large fine AND/OR 6 months in jail. Wouldn’t that be hot if she was thrown in the clink? A lot of stories would circulate that she is being hassled by big Bertha and the Bettys.
According to People she was not found to be under the influence of alcohol at the time of the arrest in early Sep. Also, the drugs found in her possession were the ones she was prescribed and were the same ones she was under the influence at the time. The only question is, what were the drugs? Was is painkillers? Were they fertility drugs? Because everyone knows how much Heather hates kids. Was is Valtrex? Is she a disease ridden skank like Paris Hilton? Oooh that’s embarrassing. These questions may not be answered but if Heather does go to jail, we can unify this country again with a collective point and laugh!
