Ashlee Simpson: No Longer Preggers

OK. So she doesn’t go out clubbing every night and the paparazzi don’t snap exclusive pictures of Ashlee Simpson passing out drunk in SUV’s but Ashlee Simpson is still interesting. Right? Apparently, with Ashlee eating lemons and “bouncing off the walls” in an attempt to induce labor, it finally worked. Yesterday Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz welcomed their first baby Bronx Mowgli Wentz to the world.

I am sure when the baby first arrived Ashlee was exhausted from labor and Pete had guyliner running down his face because of the tears. By the way, what the fuck is up with the weird name? I understand a name like Bronx, this is an attempt to make the baby sound more like an Angelina Jolie baby. Apparently people like Ashlee and Pete had normal names in grade school so they have no idea what it is like to be made fun of for having a weird name. Bronx Mowgli Wentz. B.M.W. What snobs.

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Spread this like a virus, baby!