Fatback Media

You’d think Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards would be a pedophile’s dream, yet it seems that the event was mostly filled with geriatrics . . . you know, the 25+ crowd. I mean you had your usual teenage suspects Miley Cyrus and Hayden Panettiere in attendance–by the way, nice ass shot for the kids, Hayden!–but you also had Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Love Hewitt and her Hips, and a very pregnant Jessica Alba. And speaking of Jessica Alba, is she there as a role model for 8 year olds who aspire to become pregnant before marriage? Well, I guess she is a better choice than Jamie Lynn Spears. Also, when you check out the pics from the Kids’ Choice Awards, notice Rihanna’s strange, strange face. She looks like a goddamn Star Trek character if you ask me . . .