Fatback Media

“It’s all about makin’ that G-T-A…”.

Though the police are using the word ‘commandeered’, it all boils down to one thing. Lindsay Lohan got fucked up and stole herself a car when and decided to chase a moving vehicle through a residential area.

Why? Who the fuck knows. The assistant had quit a few hours before, so Lindsay probably was three sheets to the wind and became indignant. You know how it goes. Why, I remember one time, after about a fifth of Kickin’ Chicken, I went on rant at some cop who was guarding the door at a nightclub I wanted into. Ended in tears. I assure you.

Like Lindsay not too long ago, I was underage. But hell, I was going in that club to get plastered to the wall come hell or high water. But goddamn, Lindsay, all I had to do was flash the guy my tits. YOU on the other hand decide to turn into a total whackjob and chase some poor woman down the streets with a jacked car.

Does it get any better than that? A coked up, drunken star pissing their career away all over the media? Yes, it does. How? Well, one of the guys in the car she hijacked was so afraid that he jumped out of the damned car.

Fucking please. If those guys would have had any sense whatsoever, they’d have knocked the little bitch out of the car in two seconds flat. I sure the hell would have.

If you’re interested, you can find the transcript of the 911 call during the chase here-
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19984231/

If you’re not, go look at some porn or something. I don’t fucking know. What am I, your personal assistant? More Lindsay. Bet you can’t guess the photographer…