Fatback Media

These are dangerous times for blonde-haired, white-bread celebs. Britney has proven herself to be certifiably crazy, Jessica Simpson only makes headlines for losing weight, and the other Simpson seemingly doesn’t exist now that her physical transformation is complete. On the other hand, Jessica Alba currently corners the market on hot, Rihanna is in every single magazine and billboard this summer, and Gabrielle Garcelle Beauvais is rocking the cover and a spread in Playboy this month. Gone are the blondes, and in are a crop of gorgeously ethnic women. This is not good news for flaxen-haired Miss Lennox at all.

Shape magazine has also hopped on the exotic craze and figured out a way to appeal to both the demographics of their readership and the zeigeist that craves curvy, bronzed beauties. With a little Photoshop magic, they take like, OMG, white chick Hilary Duff and Beyoncify her in their current issue. Ethnic Hilary is certainly spicy and Miss Lennox loves it! But to make her a little less vanilla, Shape’s Photo Editor could have gone the extra mile and used the Pen Tool to give Hil some Shakira hips.

God y’all, I suddenly feel the strong urge to go for a spray tan.