Fatback Media

In news that can be filed under both the “Holy Shit” and “Of Course He Did” categories, Keith Richards was recently quoted as saying that he snorted his father’s ashes mixed with cocaine, adding that it, “…went down pretty well”. Richards explained:

“The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared.” (source)

I’ve really got to hand it to “Keef”. At this point he could show up to a concert with a tar filled bloody syringe dangling from his forearm and I don’t think anyone would even bat an eye. Paris and Britney’s drug rumors send people into orbit but we celebrate this guy like he’s the goddamned crazy uncle that we all wish we’d had growing up that would sneak us Playboys and warm Coors Lights when no one was looking.

Maybe it’s our fault for being so stuck up and snobby when it comes to illegal drugs. Maybe if we all spent our entire lives mainlining Jack Daniel’s and chugging Marlboro Reds we’d all be multimillionaires. I’ll call it the “Human Cockroach Diet” and market it as the surefire way to laugh in Death’s face for the better part of a century. There’s no way this can fail. I think I’m on to something! Speaking of segueing into something non sequitur, here’s Marissa Miller to warm you northern folks up today.

-Shooter.