Fatback Media

Seemingly sexually confused Anne Heche reportedly left her husband for her “Men in Trees� co-star James Tupper. As an aside, I approve, James Tupper is fucking hot! And remember when Anne played Vikki/Marley on Another World and it turned out that Donna was her mother and not her sister? Anyway.

“While Heche refuses to confirm that she is actually with Tupper, she told “Entertainment Tonight,” when asked about their on-screen relationship, “We have a beautiful relationship . . . I think people like to read a lot into the chemistry we have on the show, and I think it’s fantastic. We all have a lot of chemistry. We love each other, we’re like a family here, we all go out on the weekends. I’m obviously going through something personal in my life, and I don’t know what is going to happen in my future.” (source)

First she’s straight, then she’s gay, then she’s straight and now she’s a whore. Anne Heche should be a psychological research study at leading universities. I went to trusty Wikipedia for more information and found an assload of “daddy issues�. Apparently, her father was a Baptist minister, whom Anne claims molested her, and then announced his homosexuality before dying of AIDS, which means he’s all shades of pleasing the big JC. In her book, Call Me Crazy (fo sho), Heche claimed she:

“[has] an alter ego that was the daughter of God and half-sibling of Jesus named “Celestia,” who had contacts with extraterrestrial life forms.â€? (source)

Rrrright.

Anne also says, “she does not give a label to her own sexual orientation” and also, “I have been very clear to everybody that just because I’m getting married does not mean I call myself straight.â€?

Exactly, and just because I was caught dealing drugs doesn’t mean I’m a “drug dealer�. Gay, straight, quadropolegic, schizophrenic or Republican, I don’t care, just show me the trick you do with your tongue that brings all the boys [and girls!] to your yard.