Fatback Media

I’m back! Happy New Year, bitches. I hope your holidays were sexy and drama-free. Santa brought me a two hour session at the massage parlor - with release. But I’m still Emily from the block (holla!). As it turns out, the ‘do not mix with alcohol’ pill bottle warning label is there for a reason…one I didn’t figure out ‘til after my second hour at the clinic. At least my doctor was cute. But I digress. That hot dude up there with the superhero back and rock hard badonkadonk? Well that’s Jessica Biel proving again that she’s more of a man than you’ll ever be and more woman than you’ll ever get. Shazam. I love Jessica Biel because she’s a hot hottie who’s clearly not afraid of a little juice in the caboose. She would also kick your ass any day, any time. She may look innocent, mature and radiant, but those are always the ones leaving you in the parking lot with your heart in your hand. Literally.

Links for dat ass:

• Brand new college boobies, y’all! (College Humor)
• Anna NIcole Smith is a god damn dummy [corporation] (Yeeeah)
• Wentworth Miller and the gayest quote. Ever. (Gossip or Truth)
• Madonna. World class kidnapper. (Derek Hail)
• Children of Men reviewed. The end is nigh mothafuckas. (Pajiba)
• Sienna Miller is so damn cute that would physically eat her. (Bastardly)
• Sharon Stone wants to cougar up with Lindsay Lohan. rrreeow (Smart)