Fatback Media

In a recent statement taken by voraciously ethical and truthful gossip reporters, Kevin Federline alleges he is indeed a family man. At present, a team of linguists are still working to determine the definition of family. Is it a nuclear unit of humans that live together in a nurturing stable environment, or a trail of white trash spawn, abandoned and forgotten like puppies in the river? We may never know.

Kevin Federline wants you to know that he’s not 100 percent pimp. In an interview with E! News, he claims, “I am a family man and that is me, that is the truth, that is in all honesty.” (source)

Kevin Federline isn’t fit to care for a lump of coal, let alone anything that breathes and requires food. Between Britney and Kevin, it’s a wonder Sean and Jayden haven’t worked out a plan to escape that involves a marbles, a makeshift ladder, a cell phone, the family dog and dressing up in little tuxedos while playing musical instruments. Babies in tuxedos are cute!

So what does Kristen Bell have to do with Britney and Kevin? Nothing. She’s just so cute it makes me giggle.