Lolli, lolli, lolli get your adverbs here...

Emily here. TGI Fucking Friday! Hilary Duff and boyfriend Joel Madden have recently filed for a restraining order against two alleged stalkers (and this time it’s not me!) Duff is claiming it has escalated to a level in which she fears for her life and has requested the men stay at least 100 yards away.

Hilary Duff claims in court documents that she fears for her life, alleging she and her boyfriend are being stalked by two men — one a paparazzi and the other a homeless man.

TMZ has obtained court documents filed today in Los Angeles Superior Court, in which Duff and Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden claim that a 19-year-old Russian emigre came to the United States “for the sole purpose of meeting and becoming romantically involved with Ms. Duff.”

The court documents state the man, whose first name is Max, “admitted to being ‘obsessed’ with her, has stated his intention of ‘removing’ his ‘enemies’ (i.e., those who prevent him from being with her), has stated his intention of purchasing a weapon, and has threatened to kill himself and to engage in dramatic actions to get her attention.”(source)

I don’t know what Hilary’s so uptight about; a stranger willing to die in an attempt to win her affection is flattery at its peak! Ask any southern girl. And, that’s just par for the course at the Chateau d’Emily. So many injuries sustained by suitors falling out of the tree outside my bedroom window. I guess I could close the blinds when I do my naked Pilates, but then I would miss out on all those nice people just dying to meet me. There’s nothing like a love confession from a man (or woman!) hanging from a tree, wearing nothing but a long gray trench coat, army boots and a smile to bolster a girl’s ego. That’s not crazy baby, that’s love. How do you think I met my current boyfriend? Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s almost visiting hours.

Oh, for you Pervy McCrotchrubber’s, here are more pictures of Hilary with Hayden Panettiere sucking on a lollipop and being too goddamn young for you. Perv.

Perv. Stop looking at me and scrub your sack with steel wool. I still have one more year you dirty fuck. Stalk Hilary.