Fatback Media

Hello lovers, Emily here with a story that I should’ve published about 4 days ago when it was new. Fucking red wine. According to a recent article, Victoria Beckham doesn’t like her naked body. I think she should submit some tasteful photos to my inbox and let me decide.

The wife of former England captain David tells [Australia's Harper's Bazaar magazine] that having three children and then losing so much weight afterwards has left a rather unsightly legacy on her tummy. “I’ve got so much saggy skin on my stomach,” she says.

Mrs Beckham added: “I might fit into jeans but, trust me, I look really awful naked.” (source)

I would say it’s really hard for any 89 pound person to look good naked. She’s more skeleton than human. Her tummy is saggy because there’s no supporting meat; just bones clanking around in her chest cavity. And her lack of ass is due to her lack of nutrition, not a genetic defect. All that’s are nothing a little creamery butter and macaroni pie can’t cure! Homegirl needs to sit with my family on Thanksgiving.  A couple of meals with us will put some junk that trunk, chica.  Get some nice ass cleavage going (real women have curves!). A word of caution though, Poshy, don’t sit next to “Uncle” Ed. We’re not really sure how he’s related to us but nobody’s gonna say shit to a one-eyed man with smeared lipstick who’s wearing women’s underwear on the outside of his clothing.