Fatback Media

Hey y’all Emily here. Dios mio, muchachas, Shakira’s ‘oral fixation’ is the latest hot gossip behind the Latin Grammys.  My oral fixation is the latest hot gossip behind the water cooler.  Sign-ups are in the men’s room stalls. And don’t believe everything you read in there.

[Shakira] leads the nomination list for the seventh annual installment of the music awards with five nods, including Record and Song of the year for “La Tortura,” and Album of the Year for her chart-topping Fijacion Oral Vol. 1. Shakira is also up for Best Short Form Music Video for “La Tortura,” a duet with Alejandro Sanz that broke the record for topping the Billboard Hot Latin Tracks chart, and Best Female Pop Vocal Album. In addition. Fijacion Oral, which features Latin- and Middle Eastern-inspired beats performed with shimmying abandon by the 28-year-old singer, earned a technical nod for Best Engineered Album. (source)

Aye, Papi!  My hips don’t lie either; they react-with deadly results.  Just last week I summoned a great Kung-Fu  master in an effort to thwart off a raid of ninjas at my trailer park.  My heightened animal instincts, startling speed and staggering agility are what keep your streets safe from lycans, vampires and Elvis impersonators, people. And once my retractable claw set and black velvet cloak from Gungfu.com arrive, I’ll be unstoppable.  Unstoppable.